The Ham Files
by Katie Mae
Summary: Hamtaro-based love stories focusing on the hamsters who aren't already coupled in the TV show. Contains Ham-Chat from the video games because it's just the hamsters (no humans, aka no reason not to talk) Very fluffy scenes inside give it a PG rating.
1. Author's Note

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1All right, folks. Katie here. ^_^ I just wanted to let you know that I'll be writing a LONG line of Hamtaro-based love stories. No, I won't be writing any Hamtaro/Bijou, Oxnard/Pepper, or Sandy/Maxwell fics, but the relationships will be mentioned a few times. Anyway, I was thinking about Hamtaro one day, and I got the idea that all of the Ham-Hams should have boyfriends or girlfriends, depending on gender. So, I started The Ham-Files, a one-fic series (multiple stories posted in the same fic) about all of the other hamsters finding love. I'll be writing stories for all of the Ham-Hams, except for Hamtaro, Bijou, Sandy, Maxwell, Oxnard, and Snoozer. In each fic, I will be introducing a new character, which is of my own creation. Just to get you started, I thought I'd provide a list of the couples I'll be writing about. If you want it to be a surprise, skip to the very bottom. Otherwise, keep going. Thanks.

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Here's the list I promised. Original characters are listed second. If any explanations are needed, they will be in parentheses following the name. Now, let's go!

Pashmina/Miles (No real reason here, just happened to think of the name while I was writing the fic.)

Stan/Annelise (nickname: Annie. No real reason here either, I just like the name Annelise. And, Annie kind of rhymes with Stan.) 

Boss/Donelle (It's a Celtic/Gaelic name that basically means Leader. I thought that it would go well with the name Boss.) 

Panda/Koali (pronounced co-ALL-ey, like koala with an I at the end instead of an A)

Penelope/Odysseus (In the epic Greek myth about Odysseus, Penelope is his wife's name. Check it out, it's really interesting!)

Cappy/Alex (named after Alex Mack from the hit Nick show. She was hardly ever seen without a hat on, so I thought she'd be perfect. However, Alex the hamster doesn't have any special powers.)

Jingle/Bella (Get it? Jingle…Bella…Jingle Bells? [Drum beat] * Raises arms to shield face from tomatoes * All right, all right, I'm getting off the stage!)

Dexter/ Dextra (I looked up the name Dexter on a baby name website. I found out that it means Flexible, Able-Bodied. The girl's name is the female version of Dexter. Yeah, that's not very creative, I know, but it was the best I could do.) 

Howdy/???

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Okay, now that that's all over with, I have a request. 

1. Can someone PLEASE think of a name for Howdy's girlfriend? I'm completely out of ideas. NO GUY'S NAMES, PLEASE. I don't write ANY slash fics. I'll look over all of the ideas, and will list the names of everyone who sent me one in Howdy's story. Also, I will give half-credit to the person who thinks up the name that I choose. 

All right, the first story, Pashmina's Christmas Love, should be up soon. Please read and review when it's posted! Thanx!

K.M.


	2. Pashmina's Christmas Love

Disclaimer: I hate having to do these things. Everybody should know by now that none of us own whatever it is we're writing about. Oh, well. I don't own anything relating to Hamtaro. That belongs to R. Kawai, Shogakukan, SMDE, and the other guys in the copyright screen. All I own is Miles and the plotline. Now that that's over with, let's get on with the story!

This fic will include Ham-Chat from both Hamtaro video games for Game Boy Color/Game Boy Advance. I did not make them up. For those of you that haven't had a chance to play it, I will provide a list of all the words and their meanings at the end, thought most will be very easy to figure out on your own.

... Thoughts

(...) Penelope translations

*...* A/N or author's notes

~*~ Change of time/place

**The Ham-Files #1: Pashmina's Christmas Love**

By: Katie Mae

                One Christmas Eve Day, Pashmina and Penelope were on their way to the Clubhouse. On their way, they spied Sandy and Stan.

                "Heyhoo! Sandy, Stan, come over here!" Pashmina cried.

                "Ookyoo! Ookyoo! (Hey, you guys! Come here!)" Penelope yelled.

                Sandy and Stan walked over to where they were standing. Stan tried to start flirting with Pashmina, but Sandy snapped him with her ribbon to get him to stop.

                "Hamha, Pashmina and Penelope. How are you guys today?" Sandy asked.

                "Oh, we're doing fine. Hey, are you guys going to the Clubhouse? We decided to bring our presents today, because our owners are at their Grandma's house." Pashmina answered.

                "Oh, yeah, I forgot that your owners are sisters, just like you guys are. It's kind of hard when your owners aren't related, and your brother lives on the other side of town."

                "Hey, Pashmina, baby, whad'ja get me this Christmas?" Stan questioned Pashmina.

                "If I tell you, it won't be a surprise. You'll find out tonight, at our Christmas party," Pashmina replied.

                Sandy said, "Dude, just, like, lay off of Pashmina for one day. I mean, you know that Dexter and Howdy are going to be fighting all day over who looks the best for her, who got her the best present, and all that stuff. She doesn't need you in her face, too."

                "Thanks, Sandy. C'mon, let's go inside. It's Frost-T out here. We'll freeze if we stay out much longer. Although I'd rather face the cold then see those two be Hamspar all day." 

                "Ookwee!" Penelope said as they walked through the door into the Clubhouse.

                Once they had gotten inside, Pashmina heard someone yelling. She peeked out of the closet where she was hanging up her hat and mittens, and she saw Dexter and Howdy arguing, with Hamtaro and Boss trying to break it up.

                "Hey, Sandy, will you watch Penelope for a minute? I need to go stop this fighting, once and for all." Pashmina said. "All right, that's **ENOUGH!!!**" she yelled, walking out of the closet.

                Dexter, Howdy, Hamtaro, and Boss all stopped and stared at Pashmina. 

                "Has she ever done that before? Yell like that, I mean." Howdy whispered to Dexter.

                "Why, I don't believe she ever has. She's usually so calm and quiet. That is one of the reasons why I love her so much," Dexter replied quietly.

                "What's wrong, Pashmina?" Hamtaro asked her.

                "I'm sick and tired of those two," she pointed at Dexter and Howdy, "fighting over me. I need to think about this. Don't bother me until the party, okay? I'll give you my decision then. In the meantime, please get this place ready for tonight. I'm going for a walk. Sandy, you're in charge. Hamtaro, I want you on decorations with Boss. Bijou will help Sandy when she gets here. Penelope, you be good and do what Sandy says, okay? Dexter, Howdy, I don't care what you do as long as you don't work together. Stan, you Putput the speakers on that new platform Panda built for us so you can Jamout. Oxnard, you'll get the food, right?"

                 "Of course, Pashmina." Oxnard said as he walked over from the door. "I need to know what everyone wants so I'll get enough food."

"Okay Ham-hams, don't Hulahula. Get to work!" Pashmina yelled. Everyone scurried to start his or her individual tasks before she got _really_ angry.

                While Oxnard was gathering the information he needed, Pashmina slipped to the closet and got her hat and mittens. After tying the hat strings snugly under her chin, she stepped outside and started for Sunflower Park.

                While walking, Pashmina tried to sort everything out in her head. The pressure of the party, keeping Dexter and Howdy in line, watching Penelope, it was just all too much for her. I can't believe what's happening. As if I don't have enough on my plate already. Not only am I single-handedly trying to organize this party, but I also have to act as referee between Howdy and Dexter. I mean, if they like me so much, can't they at least agree to stop fighting long enough to help me out with this? Also, having someone else watch Penelope for a while would be a big help, but...she's my sister. I have to take care of her. I have to take responsibility. I- Pashmina was very deep in thought; so deep, in fact, that she bumped right into something- or, rather, some_one._

                "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you." She murmured.

                "It's no problem. I wasn't looking where I was walking." The person said.

                Suddenly, Pashmina smelled something very good. She looked up from the ground to see a very good-looking hamster with dreamy blue eyes. He had brown fur and a white stripe across his face, which made him look like he was wearing a white mask. Her breath caught in her throat. She hadn't noticed until now that the snow had started again, and it was gently falling, creating a carpet of stillness over the entire park. Everyone else was away, gone home to celebrate Christmas. The hamster shivered, causing the snow that had collected on his fur to fall off.       

                "My name's Miles. What's yours?"

                "Umm…I'm…uh...P-Pashmina."

                "Well, Pashmina, what are you doing out here on Christmas Eve?"

                "Well, my friends and I, we're having a Hamboree tonight, and I was planning it, but the pressure, I-I just had to get away, and-oh, my gosh, I'm babbling on and on. Wait a minute, what are _you_ doing out here? Don't you have a family to be with, or a party to go to or something?"

                "Nope. I'm a field hamster. I don't have any friends, save one, and he's at a Hamboree of his own tonight. Maybe you know him? His name is Boss."

                "Yes! I know Boss. His Ham-Ham Clubhouse is where our party is tonight. Would you like to come? We'll have food, and music, and dancing, and lots of other stuff."

                "Sure, I'd love to. Lead the way."

                Pashmina and Miles walked away from the Park, talking all the way. They talked about almost everything, from the weather to their favorite flavors of sunflower seeds. Finally, they were at the tunnel leading to the Clubhouse. To Pashmina, it seemed as if they had reached the entrance all too soon, even though they had been walking for more than an hour. They went down the tunnel and opened the door. In what was formerly the living room, they saw red and green streamers and paper flowers, a sound system on a large platform, a long table full of food, lots of wreaths and holly, and a gigantic Christmas tree in one corner with presents underneath. 

                "Boss? Where are you, Boss?" Pashmina said.

                Boss yelled from the closet, "I'm in here! Help me with this thing!"

                They rushed over to the closet and opened the door. They saw Boss trying to carry an enormous present, but he couldn't handle it all by himself. Miles stepped forward to help him carry it over to the tree. 

                "Hey, Boss. I haven't seen you for a while. How've you been?" Miles remarked nonchalantly.

                "Miles, is that you?! I haven't seen you in a long time! You look good buddy! Hey, what are you doing here?"

                "Pashmina invited me. I hope it's okay. I have sunflower seeds, if you need them." Pashmina realized that the seeds had been what she smelled earlier.

                "Well, once Dexter and Howdy get back, we'll be ready to get this party started!" Boss pulled Pashmina off to one side. "I sent Dexter to get some punch, and Howdy is out getting carrots. They should be back any minute. I'll ask Maxwell to hold Dexter back, and Sandy can take care of Stan for you until they get used to the idea of having Miles around, okay? I'll watch Howdy."

                "Thanks, Boss, but I don't know what you're talking about."

                "Well, I figure that now that Miles is here, and when they find out that you invited him, they're gonna be a little jealous. Oh, here comes Sandy and Stan now."

Pashmina was a little confused. Why would they be jealous? 

"Hey, you two, I want you to meet someone. This is my friend, Miles. He's a field hamster, like me. He's going to be at the party tonight. Pashmina met him at the park and invited him." Boss explained to Sandy and Stan. "Sandy, can I ask you something?" He whispered into Sandy's ear, and she nodded.

"Don't worry, dude. I'll keep him in line." With that, they walked over to the other side of the room, by Maxwell, Hamtaro, and Bijou. Suddenly, Dexter and Howdy walked through the door, their arms full. Dexter was carrying bottles of punch, and Howdy was carrying a bag of carrots.  

"Pashmina, my darling, I was worried about you. Where have you been?" Dexter said with a smile as he saw Pashmina.

"Yeah, Pashmina. I was worried about you too, much more than Dexter here." Howdy spoke. This led to a fight, which was quickly broken up by Pashmina.

"Quiet, you two. Can't you see we have a guest? His name is Miles. Now, if you'll all excuse me, I have to go get ready for the party. I'll be back soon, Miles." Pashmina walked over to one of the doors and disappeared behind it.

"Hey, Miles, I have a joke for ya. Why did the hamster start meowing at the sight of the burning building? Because it was a "cat-astrophe"! Get it?" The whole went deadly silent, except for Howdy's nervous chuckling. * I'm sorry. That was a lot worse than Howdy's usual jokes, but I made it up, so it was destined to be bad from the beginning. *   

"Hello, Miles. It's nice to meet you. Are you a friend of Pashmina's?" Dexter asked him.

"Well, yes. Pashmina invited me to the party tonight, by the way."

"Really? Well, that's my Pashmina, always being nice to other Hams," Howdy replied with a nod. He was wearing a red and green apron, and Dexter had put on a gold bow tie. 

"What do you mean by that? Just out of curiosity," Miles asked.

"Well, you see, Howdy and I have been fighting over Pashmina for some time now, and she promised us that she would finally choose one of us tonight. It's obvious by the way she's been acting that she is planning on choosing me," Dexter answered.

"What are you talking about, Dexter? It's plain to see that Pashmina's gonna chose _me_, not _you_," Howdy said.

"Oh, I see. So, Pashmina is…yours. Y'know, I don't think coming here was such a good idea. I'll just leave. I'll see you later, Boss," Miles said quietly.

"Why are you leaving so soon?" Boss asked him.

"Well…something urgent just came to my attention. I have to leave right now. Tell Pashmina I'm sorry when she comes out," he said, just as Sandy and Bijou emerged from Pashmina's room.

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                Once Pashmina entered her room, she took a deep breath. Why am I worrying about how I look at a time like this? The fierce need to look nice had just…overcome her for some reason. 

                Tap tap. Someone was knocking on her door. She opened it to find Bijou, Penelope, and Sandy standing there.

                "Whatever is wrong, Pashmina?" Bijou asked. She looked worried, though her red ribbons were very festive. 

                "Oh, nothing. It's just that…" she went quiet. "Can you guys keep a secret?"

                "Like, sure, Pashmina. What is it?" Sandy responded.

                "Well, I think I like Miles."

                "Zat is obvious, Pashmina. He is a very nice hamster. You have every reason to like him," Bijou told her. 

"No, that's not what I mean," Pashmina said with a shake of her head. * Hey, I rhymed! *                  "Well, like, what _do_ you mean?" Sandy asked her worriedly.

                "What I mean is, I'm starting to get the same feelings around him that you get around Maxwell, and that Bijou gets around Hamtaro. I'm starting to...s_moochie him."_

                "Ookwee?! (What?!)" Penelope asked her. 

                "What?!" Sandy and Bijou said in unison.

                "I know. That's what I thought at first as well. I know that I've only known him for a couple of hours, but everything seems to…work. When we were walking, and we got here, I felt like I didn't want to leave him. Even right now, I miss him. His smile, his eyes, the feel of his fur. He's… _perfect_. And I know that no matter what happens, I want to be close to him, even if we're just friends. Besides, I know that Boss will approve. I just found out that he and Miles go _way _back. You should've seen Boss's face when we came walking into the Clubhouse together. It was great."

                "But…what about Dexter and Howdy? What will zey think?" Bijou asked her. "And what about Stan?"

                Sandy answered, "I don't know about Dexter and Howdy, but I'm positive that Stan will be schmoozing within 5 minutes of the big announcement. He acts like he likes Pashmina, but he does that around any girl-Ham that's even remotely close to his age. He will be absolutely fine."

                "You know what, girls? I can feel, deep down in my heart, that Dexter and Howdy will find other girls. Stan too," Pashmina said. "They…just need an opportunity to look, which they won't have if they keep chasing after me. It's unfair to keep dragging them along, and, frankly, I'm developing a chronic migraine from their bickering. I think it will be for the best if I just tell both of them tonight that I harbor no feelings beyond friendship for either of them. The only one I am in Smoochie with is Miles. I feel a definite Hambond between us."

                "Well, whatever you decide to do, we're behind you all ze way," Bijou replied.

                "Yeah, we're, like, totally on your side. We girls have to stick together, right?" Sandy added.

                "Ookwee! (Yeah!)" Penelope squealed to seal the agreement.

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                Miles trudged through the ever-thickening layer of snow toward the park. On the way, he thought about his walk with Pashmina, his time at the Clubhouse, and the conversation with the two hamsters that basically told him that Pashmina was not available. Tears started to roll down his cheeks as he once again pictured Pashmina in his mind; eyes glimmering in the light from the candles strewn all around the Clubhouse, cheeks flushed from the walk as much as from the cold, bright smile flashing as she had introduced him to the other hamsters. He didn't even notice that the gentle snowfall was quickly becoming a full-blown blizzard.  

                Oh, why did I have to meet her? Even in this short amount of time, I know that I'm in Smoochie with her. Now, I'll probably never see her again, unless I visit Boss. Then I'll have to see her with one of those two, either the one with the apron or the one with the glasses and the bow tie. For her sake, I hope she doesn't choose the apron one; he told horrible jokes. Of course, the guy with glasses wasn't any better, because he talked too much. Oh, why am I torturing myself like this? I should just forget about her and move on. Only, I can't.

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As the girls walked into the main room, Pashmina immediately noticed that something was wrong. 

                "Where's Miles?" she asked.

                "Well," Hamtaro began. "He had to leave. Said something urgent came to his attention, and to tell you that he's sorry."

                Panda walked up to Pashmina and said, "I think Howdy and Dexter scared him away. They mentioned something about you choosing one of them tonight, then he got all Bluhoo and left. Maybe he thinks that he doesn't have a chance with you."

                "But he does. I was going to tell everyone tonight that Miles is the Ham that I've chosen. I love him," Pashmina admitted. "I have to go out there and find him."

                "But Pashmina," Boss said, "The storm's getting worse. It's practically a blizzard out there."

                "I don't care. I'm going out there, and none of you can stop me. And I won't come back until I've found him."

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                Pashmina had been walking around for the past forty minutes looking for Miles. Every few seconds, she would yell out his name; unfortunately, it was lost by the whistling of the wind. Pashmina had long since become numb to the cold, and was starting to feel very tired. Suddenly, Pashmina disappeared. She had fallen into a hole under the snow, and had landed on something very soft.

                "Hey! Get off me!" the thing yelled. "Can't you see I'm trying to sleep here?"          

                "What are you?" Pashmina said.

                "Pashmina? What are you doing here? Wait a minute; you're as cold as ice! How long have you been outside?" Miles said, pulling her close to warm her up. 

                "Umm, I don't know. I'm really really sleepy, though. Are you a blanket? You're so warm; I just want…to…." Pashmina buried her head into Miles's chest, sighing. It was obvious that she was falling asleep.

                "**NO! You can't Zuzuzu, Pashmina! If you do, you're as good as dead. Your heart isn't pumping enough blood to your brain because of the cold. You have to do something to keep your blood moving. Run around, do some jumping jacks, Tack-Q the wall; anything to get moving."**

                "O…kay. I will." With that, she started to walk around Miles's "den" and flap her arms back and forth. Within fifteen minutes, she could talk normally, and she wasn't as cold.

                "Miles, how did you get me to do it? I must have been really out of it if I called you a blanket." 

                "I just cuddled with you for a minute; only to get some heat in you, of course." Changing the subject, he said, "I think the storm's blown over. I bet your Boy-Ham is really worried about you, isn't he?"

                "What are you talking about?" she asked as she sat down on the hard-packed floor next to Miles.

                "Well, weren't you going to pick one of those guys tonight?"

                "Oh, Dexter and Howdy? No way. I don't like either of them. I was going to tell them just that tonight. Then I met you, and now I'm going to tell them who I'm in love with." Pashmina said as she scooted right next to Miles.

                "Who is it?" Miles asked, completely oblivious to her actions.

                Suddenly, Miles felt the soft, warm touch of Pashmina's lips on his, and noticed her arms around his neck. Smiling, he gladly returned the kiss, putting his arms around her.

                After about three minutes of intense kissing, they parted, both panting for air.

                "So, the guy you're in love with? Is he nice?"

                "Totally," she answered with a grin.

                "Smart? Strong? The most Spiffie hamster in the world?"

                "Well, I don't know about the _most_ Spiffie, but he is a great kisser," she winked.

                "What's his name?" Miles asked, already knowing the answer.

                Pashmina answered him by giving him another kiss, this time practically jumping on top of him.

                "Let's go back to the Clubhouse, shall we?" Pashmina asked.

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                Their trip back to the Clubhouse was an enjoyable one, to say the least. They held hands the whole way, which really wasn't that far. It only took them ten minutes to get there from Miles' den. They might have gotten there even sooner, if they hadn't stopped every few minutes to re-enact Pashmina's declaration of love to Miles. When they weren't kissing, Pashmina marveled at how fresh and new the world seemed after the snowstorm. The clouds had parted, revealing a full moon. The bright light made the snow glitter, making Pashmina feel as if precious diamonds surrounded her. They walked into the Clubhouse, and noticed that everyone was staring at them. Of course, Miles's arm was around Pashmina's waist, but that wasn't the reason.

                "Where have you been? You've been gone for more than an hour! We were in a Fussfuss! Boss was about to go out and search for you!" Bijou yelled at them. "Sandy and I told Dexter and Howdy what you told us; we felt that zey should know as soon as possible." She said, more quietly.

                "Thanks, Bijou. Well, now that we're back, let's get this Hamboree started!" Miles said.

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                After a few hours of partying, Boss pulled Miles aside to talk to him.

                "Now," Boss said, "Pashmina is a great girl. Do you promise to never hurt her? Because if you do, you'll have to answer to me."

                "Don't worry, Boss. I'm in love with her. I'd never do anything to hurt her." Miles answered. "You won't have any reason to beat me up."

                "Good, we understand each other, then." 

                Walking back toward his Girl-Ham, Miles said, "Yes, Boss. We do."

THE END 

List of Ham-Chat Words (in order of use)

Heyhoo- call out

Hamha- greeting (hello)

Frost-T- freezing

Hamspar- enemy

Putput- put

Jamout- play music

Hulahula- lollygag

Hamboree- party

Smoochie- love

Hambond- bond

Bluhoo- sad

Zuzuzu- sleep

Tack-Q- roll (such as: roll into a wall, tree, etc.)

Spiffie- cool

Fussfuss- worry

Sooo, what did you think? Good? Bad? Review to let me know! The next one (once I finish writing it) will be about Stan finding a girlfriend. It will be up as soon as I can get it finished, which won't take long if you guys review!

Ciao for now!

Katie Mae

P.S. I have already gotten a few suggestions for Howdy's girlfriend's name, and I love them all! It's going to be tough to choose one, but I promise that it will be one that I think best describes the girl-ham, and works well with Howdy (note: I'm planning on making her very serious and cold at first, then having Howdy's personality rub off on her and warm her up.)

K.M.


	3. Author's Note pt 2

Author's note:

Readers,

          I'm sorry I haven't updated in such a long time. My older sister "accidentally" formatted the disc that the next story was on, which deleted it and the other stories I had been writing on that disc (grumble, grumble) Anywho, as soon as I finish it, it will be up, I promise.

Katie Mae 


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